Divorced in my late 20s, holy crap. What will people think? What will my family think? My friends? Will people hate me? Will I lose people? Would they side with him?
I thought I would ‘lose’ significant family members, so the stakes for me were SKY HIGH. The leap was BIG.
Finally I let go of what people thought. I knew I had to get out.
And it’s made me who I am today.
In business I have interacted with a bunch of amazing business owners, and one of the biggest things that holds them back from chasing their dreams is this –
“What will people think if I do ___________.”
And it’s something that holds them back when they come to changing the direction or vibe of the look and feel of their business, even when they know it’s something they reallyyyyyyyyy want to do.
There is an art to not giving a toss
about what people think of you.
And if it’s art, I’ve definitely learned to be an artist.
Here are my 6 steps to getting free of what people will think of you.
1. What’s the thing?
What’s the thing that you want to do?
Why do you want to do it?
Answering both of these will help to fuel your fire and desire for the thing you want to move towards!
Identify exactly what you want to do! It might be that you want to feel more confident in your business when you direct people to your website or hand out your business cards, it might be that you want to be able to clearly explain what you do and the value of it to potential clients.
2. Identify ‘People’
When we give ourselves blanket statements/questions – we aren’t getting specific. Making it more specific helps you change the thought and means it’s less scary too!
Who are the ‘people’ you’re worried about, specifically?
List them out! Then change the sentence to – what will (name) think?
Do the people actually matter to you?
Do you care about their opinion of you? Of your work? Of your business? Of your life?
The people we tend to worry about are not even people we truly value!
3. What am I scared of?
Being more of who you are can be really scary and vulnerable, so let’s identify exactly what you’re scared of!
What’s the worst that could happen if I do go ahead and do __________?
What do you think they’ll think? (these are only assumptions, after all!)
4. Count the cost
One of the things you have to do when considering a big change is to count the cost of 2 things –
What will happen if you DO do the thing you want to do? What are the repercussions or possibilities you may need to face?
What will happen if you DON’T do the thing you want to do? Can you stay the same for the next 1 year, 3 years, 5 years and not change?
5. Do you like it?
If YOU like you, or your decisions, you won’t care if others do!
If you are convinced of your decision, you don’t need others to like it. So how can you be more convinced of your decision? How can you like yourself more? How can you get more excited about the thing you’re about to do?
Me loving me, me loving my business, me loving my decisions frees me up to be more of who I am – and it feels damn good!
6. Will it matter?
At the end of the day, what’s standing between you and the ability to chase down your dreams is a thought that you can’t control. A thought that someone else is having. A thought.
Is it really that terrifying?
Will this thought matter to you when you’re making your dream wage?
Will it matter when you can give your kids the life you want for them?
Will it matter when you can retire your husband?
Will it matter?